please don't tell me, it's not worth fighting for.
i just want you to hold me,
tell me it's gonna be okay.

you can't miss someone you've never known, can you?
i don't think you can love someone so much that it replicates that feeling of missing someone.
so it must have been my 4 year old self, trying to make up for the lost time, those lost moments that were snatched away from us; trying to imagine your reaction when i cried, picturing you holding me up, or at least looking at me and remarking on our similarities, seeing a smile spread out across your face - a face i don't even know.
but you weren't there.
and you weren't smiling
and you weren't even sane enough to see me,
were you?
somehow i don't want to know the answer to that question.
how thick is blood? i ask you.
it is thick enough, thick enough.