this sucks
it really does
cause my heart's breaking
and the worst part is finding it empty
i don't blame anyone.
it was really all my fault
but why?
why am i not good enough?
what did i do wrong for goodness sake?
i meant all those things i said.
i meant them from the heart.
but why couldn't they believe me?
isn't wasn't just some crapped up model answer that everyone else gave
i wrote all that from my heart.
and that's one of the worst bits.
holding so much meaning to something that just crumbles once it's in your reach.
why Jesus, why?
what did i do?
i know you love me Lord,
i know you love me,
i know you love me
i know you love me with all your heart!
i know!
but i can't do this right now.
i can't come to terms with my own shortcomings
i can't understand why
no, i just, i don't know damnit i don't know anymore
this isn't how it used to be
i can't see how to get it back to all that.
oh God,
what am i doing here?